A little less than a year ago I had a conversation with my father about drugs. It was a spontaneous conversation that took place over a slice of pizza & it honestly escapes my mind how it began although I do remember NOT initiating it...

My dad, a caddy-master for a resort island in Charleston, was offered marijuana by a golfing group comprised of a lawyer & 2 doctors. He was telling the story to me because he found it humorous & my first question, naturally, was "did you take it?" He said "no." Then he added a "but" to the answer that drove us into what will remain one of the most unusual conversations I have ever had with my father. "But I would have if I didn't think I would have gotten caught." Now, I may be paraphrasing but I know that whatever it is my dad did say - it held the same sentiment. I dropped my slice of pizza. "What?" He continued "well, I mean I'm not against it. I've done it with Mike & the guys watching football." I was stunned. Not because my dad had, in the very recent past, smoked weed but because he was volunteering the information so willingly to his 23 year old daughter. Mind boggling at first glance but if you'd met my father, not so surprising...

Then came the real killer. Seeing my visible shock, my dad asked "What's the big deal? I don't do it a lot. I don't buy it...." after a long pause "you do it right?" I laughed. I'm laughing as I type this. I'm laughing thinking about other people reading this because the reality is, I don't. I haven't. I've barely even had what would constitute as a valiant attempt at "trying it." My father was shocked. "Oh, Mick, I wouldn't be mad if you had. I was sure by now that you had given it try, experimented a little. Every kid does. Now, don't get crazy or anything but I would have thought by now..."

Disbelief. This time at myself because I realized that I actually had managed to make it 23 years (20 of which I didn't even know what weed looked like) without smoking.... I suddenly realized how strange it was. I started asking myself why this had happened. I remembered the 2 circumstances I had been in where I would have smoked but something happened that prevented me (the first time a friend called to have me pick her up from a precarious & much more important situation than the one I was in - the second, I fell asleep before they started smoking). The only time that smoke actually entered my body was when someone tried to "smoke me out" - a phrase that clearly admits my less than impressive pot knowledge. It didn't work.

Anyways, back to the story. So my Dad gives me permission, in some sense, to experiment with the drug that at 16 would have gotten me kicked out of the house. I tell this story to people as a joke now because it is rather humorous. It's the moment when your parents become "real" to you, opening themselves up to their children. Gratifying moments like this are what make life come full circle, if only in that story.

But I have to take this somewhere else, somewhere darker. Look at the story as an anecdote. Now I have to tell you my real intentions. A close friend of mine had a close friend of his die of an overdose. Obviously not weed as it is, in the realm of things, a milder or more harmless drug. Cocaine was the culprit this time. My friend was crushed - and rightly so. Drugs are so scary in their ability to transform someone, rendering friends and family helpless & scared. Death is hard enough to comprehend without adding the added frustration that comes with understanding addiction.

I prefaced the previous paragraph with the story about my father & I to reveal my lack of exposure to drugs or that lifestyle. But for so many, drugs, hardcore ones, are part of daily life. I can't even imagine this. Literally.... I can't even picture what that would be like. To see powder, needles, blood or decaying body parts like a collapsing nose or ruined forearms on a day to day basis. It saddens me. It makes me want to do something. Immediately.

I don't know where I wanted to take these thoughts other than to put them out there. Maybe someone reading this will stop worrying about which seasonal latte to get from Starbucks for a moment (I'm not bashing that decision because it can be difficult), maybe someone who has lost a person from drugs will find comfort in the concern that the average person has in that struggle as well.... I don't know. But I do think about it, for whatever that is worth.

Below are two links. One to a song, a beautiful song, because I think love can cure all. The other is to a dance that is about drug addiction & is equally beautiful. Enjoy : )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOkjB8Jy3uc

Anthony Hamilton - Dear Life